005. What I didn't post yesterday

Heyys, sup?
So, yeah, I was kind of tired and lazy and I wanted to post but I couldn't.
So, Friday, was like, uberly awesome. We went to sign the apartment contract, like really fucking early. We walked around the town of San Juan a bit, and then came the fun part. Walking the whole UPR Campus trying to find the theater.
Well, at least the had donuts and cola when we got there. SCORE! Then I had to like... stand in a line, and I didn't even know what the line was for. When I got to the front, there was a lady, and she was like: Well? and I look at her with a What-Do-You-Want-From-Me face... She asked me my last name and sent me to some table where some other grumpy lady made me sign some papers and shit. Then came the conference, and the cheerleaders, and the tuna, and the omg....
Anyways, we got a tour of the campus (even if I had walked the whole thing already), and I met some nice dudes who were kind enough to not leave me alone. And well, that was my day.
Now, I'm moving next weekend, and I'm excited, cuz like, I just want to get the fuck outa here, I will miss no one, and no one will miss me. End of story. In fact, me moving means that I will get closer to some friends. And besides, SAN JUAN IS THE SHIT. :D

003. Guys take note

[This was written by a guy who's pretty damn good when it comes to females]

1. Whatever you do, don't just show up at their house [without notice]...they run around in their underwear just like we do.

2. DON'T CHEAT ON THEM. It may seem foolproof, but girls tell each other everything about everything. Trust me, they WILL find out and you will be screwed. If you do cheat on them do NOT ever talk to the girl or see the girl you cheated on them with. They will be pissed, no matter what they say.

3. Beware of every single male relative and all guy friends. Any of them would kick your ass at the drop of a hat, and a lot of them wouldn't even wait for the hat.

4. NEVER miss an opportunity to tell them they're beautiful.

5. DON'T refuse to kiss in front of your friends. If they laugh at you, it's because they're jealous.

6. If they slap you hard, you deserved it.

7. Don't be afraid to touch them if you want to. If they're going out with you in the first place, it's because they like being in your arms.

8. If you don't sleep with them, DO NOT tell your friends that you did.
If you DO sleep with them, DON'T tell your friends that you did.

9. You can be dirty minded in private, really...most of them are not offended by it...

10. Not all of them eat like birds, a lot of them can eat like whales.

11. Most of them don't mind paying half of everything, but they do discuss these things with their friends. Realize that if you make your girlfriend pay half all the time, everyone will know about it and your friends will know you're a pussy...
Do you honestly need all your money that much? Be a man, pay all the time!

12. Every girl should eventually get three things from her boyfriend- a stuffed animal, ONE OF HIS SWEATSHIRTS, and a really PRETTY RING (plastic ones from machines count). Even if it's not a serious relationship.

13. Make sure she gets home safely as often as you can. If you're dropping her off, walk her to the door. If you aren't dropping her off, call to be sure she's home safely.

14. If a guy is bothering her, it is your right to beat the shit out of him.

15. If you're talking to a female friend of yours, PULL YOUR GIRLFRIEND CLOSER.

16. NEVER, ever slap her, even if it's just in a joking way. Even if she swats you first, and says, "Oh, you're so dumb" or something, never make any gestures back

17. Go to a chick flick once in a while. She doesn't care whether you enjoy it or not, it just matters that you went.

18. You're dead meat if you can't get along with their pets, parents, and best friends. Be prince charming to their friends, Mr. Polite to their parents, and make sure to be nice to their animals.

19. Don't flirt with their moms...that's just freaky.

20. Don't be freaked out by PMS. It's not gross, and it really does make them feel like shit, so be understanding.

21. If you don't like the way they drive, you do it.

22. If you're officially dating, and you're introducing her to your friends, you'd better damn well introduce her as your girlfriend.

23. Don't stress where you go for every date. They really only want to be with you.

24. If they complain that something hurts, rub it for them WITHOUT being asked.

25. Girls are fragile. Even if you're play fighting/wrestling, be very gentle.

26. Memorize their birthdays. You forget her birthday and you're basically screwed for life.

27. Don't marinade in the cologne, but smell good.

28. Don't give her something stupid for her birthday or Christmas or Valentine's day. It doesn't have to be expensive, but it has to be meaningful.

30. After you've been dating for a while, realize that they really have started to trust you. When you have a girlfriend who truly trusts you, you have a lot more responsibility, privilege and control than you would think. Be careful with it, most guys would kill for that kind of power, and it can be lost in a nanosecond.

31. NEVER, and i mean NEVER make her do anything she doesn't wanna do. Because if you do she'll think that you're only after one thing. (and i think you all know what that is) -sex.

002. Sexy Taquitos

Boredom got the best of me.. And here I am, posting for the second time today. Don't ask, lol.
Hmm, let's see... something interesting to say. Well, I'm using Mozilla Firefox, because I discovered it's greatness and all. I also discovered a cool plug-in it uses called pic lens. It's awwwwwsome, you can like... see pics floating in the air and... stuff. lol.
Hmm, what else. I changed my jelly bracelets, now they're green and orange on my right arm and black and pink on the left one, chyeah. I must look so lame, lmfao.
Yeah, yesturday I discovered Kerli Kõiv. She sounds like Bjork, only.. better and with more meaning and stuff, you should listen to her, I COMMAND YOU..... FEAR ME...
If I think of anything else.. I'll make yet another post, or edit this one...